for a job, after 8 applications. god this town sucks.

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i decided to write in here again. I guesse it needed some attention, even though it doesnt really get viewed... thats arite. It's another place for me to write which in itself is not such a bad thing. I can't wait to go back home for awhile and visit with my friends again, and god I miss the harpers. They seriously have no idea. I miss them very badly. I wonder what luke's been doing. She's probably getting big. I can't wait to be back home..

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i hate school and im way too overwhelmed... id write more but i have way too much homework to do.. i guesse i should start working.

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Wow, I need a job. I spend way too much money on my horse and am not sure how I'm going to be able to afford it this year. I have sent out a few applications and will be working on applying for even more jobs, but its frustrating, just waiting to get a response. I know that it'll be worth it in the end, but waiting for it.. blah. Also, it's going to be hard because I'm not able to work all the time. Like, i need to go riding at least 3-4 times a week, and if I can't do that, then it defeats the purpose of me earning all the money to begin with, because I need to get Chance in shape, before I can begin entering him in shows, etc. Lately, Chance has not been doing all that good. He's been having this huge bucking issue and we're not sure what over. But, I've been pretty much retraining him how to canter and it seems to be working. He's doing a lot better now and yesterday I even rode him, my extremely hyperactive horse, bareback, for an hour. It was a really good workout, I was definitely pleased. I've also just drained a lot of money on Chance's dental work, and yearly shots. That in itself makes a huge dent in my funds. People whose parents buy all this shit for them are so lucky. I guess it makes me more appreciative of it all, but... it would be nice if they supported me enough in that way, but oh well.. im not going to complain. There is one good thing about riding lately. The other day I got to ride a $12,000 horse. It was nice to finally get on another horse besides Chance. Plus, the owner asked me to ride him, which means, that she likes how I ride, and just might ask me to do it again... that'd be great.

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except chance... thank god i have some sort of constant. Whether hes bad or good, hes there.. and to me, thats what matters most.

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i just got back from probably my worst trip home. I hate living up here and I can't stand the fact that everythings changing. It sucks watching stuff go right in front of you and not be able to do anything about it. I don't really know what to do about it anymore and it hurts too bad think, i wish i could just stop... blah

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